Beowulf Meets Godsylla

Meanehwæl, baccat meaddehæle,     monstær lurccen;
Fulle few too many drincce,     hie luccen for fyht.
Ðen Hreorfneorhtðhwr,     son of Hrwærowþheororthwl,
æsccen æwful jeork     to steop outsyd.
Þhud! Bashe! Crasch! Beoom!     Ðe bigge gye
Eallum his bon brak,     byt his nose offe;
Wicced Godsylla     wæld on his asse.
Monstær moppe fleor wyþ     eallum men in hælle.
Beowulf in bacceroome     fonecall bamaccen wæs;
Hearen sond of ruccus     sæd, Hwæt ðe helle?
Graben sheold strang     ond swich-blæd scharp
Stond feorth to fyht     ðe grimlic foe.
Me, Godsylla sæd,     mac ðe minsemete.
Heoro cwyc geten heold     wiþ fæmed half-nelson
Ond flyng him lic frisbe     bac to fen
Beowulf belly up     to meaddehæle bar,
Sæd, Ne foe beaten     mie færsom cung-fu.
Eorderen cocca-cohla     yce-coeld, ðe reol þyng.


A Parody by Tom Weller from "Cvltvre Made Stupid"